When I do something wrong I am not really sure who I turn to. I am scared to tell my friends that I am having some problems with this and that. For so many reasons. One I am scared of the looks and the disappointment I will cause them. Second I do not know if we will argue. I have such a problem with getting defensive with the ones I care about that I do not give them a chance. I am working on this. Third I will let them down. I have already let the ones close to me down so many times they do not need it again. I feel even if I have just the smallest thing I need to talk about these things will happen. I also feel they will start the close eye watching again. I just started to get away from that.
So you may ask why don't I tell my treatment team. They are here to help and treat me right??? I just don't know... You I was going to try to open up here where most of you do not know me but I can not do it!! Sorry!!
