Hate is Strong...

         This last week someone told me that she hates me and everyone else around me hates me.  OUCH!! She really does not know how bad of a word that is.  She does not know that word can destroy people.  That word can eat away the insides of a person.  Hate is a curl word to say no one has the right to say it.  No one has the right has the right to tell me that anyone else "hates" me.  Hate is a word of passion just as love is.  One can not speak words of passion for another person, words that can hurt a person. Not many people understand that you do not just throw that word around. 
           I have really been struggling since I got in a fight with the "girls" in my house.  But it was mostly two of the girls.  They say I am lying about things in my life.  I can prove all of the things that I have told them. But why do I have to prove anything to them?  They say that the things that I have told them are stories.  Well, they are not.  I know that parts of my life sound really crazy, like my grandparents have been to all 7 contents, or them being past resort owners for 30ish years.  It all sounds so weird and out there but it is true.  I have so much about my life that I can sit here a type to you and some of you know about but they will not understand.  Some parts of my life would not make sense to them, like the reason I got out of the army (my eating disorder).   Proving my life to them would be stopping down to their level.  Many people around me tell me I have been changing to impress the "girls" of my house.  I have decided that they are no longer roommates to me, nor are they women.  They are "GIRLS!"  Almost of them act as children and the one who does not act as a child is the youngest.  I feel as if I am gossiping.  Is that bad??  This is really helping me.  Thank you all. 
All of these girls are getting in to my head with the hate.  This hate is "eating" away at my recovery process.  I have really fallen back, way back.  This next week is a big week. Please keep me in your mind.  I may be going to treatment.  All because of this hate in the home!! It made me realize that if I let this get to me this much, what if something else happened?  I need to figure out my eating disorder and normalize my nutrition. 
Keep me in your prayers please.